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Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire (Pt.9)

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Being Powerless

(a small reflection on movie Ran)

The movie Ran revolves around the lusts for power among two of three sons of Hidetora, Taro, and Jiro. The movie ends with their tragic deaths, where they kill each other. Power has become a source of chaos (Ran) even among brothers and between father and his sons. Since having power is very tempting, how should we Jesuits deal with power?

Jesuits do have power. We know that. Where does that power come from? It does not come from money for we don’t have money to get such power, nor from the large numbers of our membership for it’s not comparatively a large number. It doesn’t come either from our intelligence for only some of us are really smart. I believe it comes from our effort to build trust. It has been more than 450 years since St. Ignatius and his companions began this great work that all of Jesuits around the world build on (or try to do so) this trust. It is because of this trust that we can last more than 450 years, work in many fields, and help millions of people. Above all, I believe that this power also come from God.

So, it’s inevitable that as a Jesuit we have (or will have) that power, whether we are aware of it or not. People, especially most of Catholics and those who know Jesuits, will admire and give Jesuits a special pace as a leader. Even as a priest or religious himself, we can obtain such a power. Now, since this power can be a great temptation, what am I going to do with this power? As a Jesuit, I have to deal with it wisely and I will do what a Jesuit should do. Power is only one of the means provided for us to reach the aim, that is, to help souls and glorify God.

It will not be fair if I use my power for myself, so the first thing to do is to share it by cooperating with other Jesuits, other religious and lay people. Then, I will use my power to raise funds for those in need and to invite more people to help others. In other words, I will try to use that power not primarily for my sake, but always for the sake of mission and glorifying God. For me, it sounds very idealistic and difficult. I realize that power may be a big temptation. For now, I want to learn to be humble so that when I have such a power I will not misuse it, but utilize it according to our way of proceeding. In the Society, superiority means service. This is what I want to learn from this time for formation is the best time to learn and to nourish many virtues, especially, that of humility and obedience.

A characteristic of a good superior is that the more he has, the more he serves and the humbler he is. Also, he will feel that he is not powerful, but rather powerless for he realizes that God is above all. Therefore, such a superior will always surrender himself to God and let God guide him in making use of his power. I want to be a great leader like that: having power, but at the same time being powerless, admired but also humble. In formation, there are many opportunities to serve others as a leader, and I will try to do my best in learning how to be a good superior.

Superiority means service

My Talent(s)

(a small reflection on movie Billy Elliot)

For me, Billy Elliot is an ideal example of a person who dares to be different in order to explore his talent and pursue his goal by doing something he considered right one. On the other hand, people tend to choose anything that people choose for them. He wants to make his father, his brother, his grandmother, and, of course, his mother happy. To do this, he can be a boxer and follow his father’s will. But, how about him? Will he be happy with his father’s choice? Realizing this, Billy changes his mind. He decides to be a ballet dancer since he found that there is where his heart and that is his talent. He is sure that becoming a ballet dancer will make him happy

God makes me for a purpose, which I am sure will be realized as a Jesuit. But, He also makes me for other purposes. However, up to now, I can’t find exactly what these purpose are. I realize that I am good and fast in learning something. I can learn something fast if my heart is really there. In other words, I really like it and look forward to it. For example, I have been learning the guitar for more than five years, but I have never really been able to play it. On the other hand, I have never learnt about the computer formally, and yet I did learn to use it by myself. Now, I have mastered some programs and know how to run them.

With some talents, and the certitude that I am called to be a Jesuit, I want to dedicate what I have for my Society. But, this is not that easy since I don’t know myself entirely. Sometimes, only others can see that I am good at something because I just do it without thinking that it is special. Therefore, what people have said about me makes me think about my talents and my defects, and I realize that there is something I can dedicate to my Society to realize purpose God made for me. Since I joined the Society, I have been training to know myself better, both my abilities and my defects, so that I may have a wider overview about myself.

When I was a child, I used to want to be a teacher. But, after I joined the Society, I have lost that desire. Now, I just want to be a humble priest in a small parish mostly because I am afraid that popularity may make me proud and haughty, yet I realize now that it is up to the Society about how I am to serve the Lord. From now on, I want to use my ability and talent, especially in academic field to learn many things in order to serve better. If the Society wants me to be a teacher as I had wanted to before, than I want to prepare it by studying and using my talents to the fullest.

God gives, but we must accept.

Youth Ministry

(a small reflection on movie Oliver Twist)

Jesuit ministry today covers many areas, most of which are in the area of education for young people, especially teenagers. For me, this priority is not unreasonable for one’s teenage years is the phase when young people absorb a lot of things from adults that will affect their lives in the future. Jesuits see this good chance and potential and try to explore it. But, the problem is that a good education demands a high cost of expenses so that not all young people are able to get a good education. Throughout the ages, we can see that most of the time, Jesuits provide good education can only be afforded by the middle and higher classes. How about the poor? They need good education too, but they can’t afford it.

Jesuits are supposed to do their ministry freely, without any cost. It is our way to be able to give good education to those who cannot afford it. Another way to help them is to propose cross payment. Those who are rich pay more for those who are relatively poor. In this way, can solve the problem and lighten the cost of the poor people have to pay. However, it’s not an easy task for us Jesuit to invite them to do so.

From my experience of dealing with the poor people, it is not easy to approach them. They claim to have their own world and consider us as the higher class who evade them. But, once we can approach them and be accepted, we will win their hearts and easily give them the education or understanding we want them to know.

Education has been one of the Jesuits ministries which is interesting for me and makes me choose the SJ to join. But, so far, I find that the work for and with poor people is more challenging. Besides, I can also combine them, working with poor people and giving them education. In this case, I will do the same as what I have mentioned above. I will take no cost for my work for the poor and try to make the rich help the poor. I will also plant in their hearts the seeds of understanding the importance of helping each other. Hopefully, when they gain success, they will always remember to help others, especially the poor. I think it is a more important lesson for them besides the better education they receive because of this will help them understand the cause of their poverty and how to overcome it. So the point is to encourage them so that it is they and not we who raise their lives for we can only empower them.

My Legacy

(a small reflection on movie Mr. Holland's Opus)

In the movie, Mr. Holland wants to make a great symphony that he hopes will be well known by the world and place his name among the famous composers. But, it seems that it will never happen. However, his work as a teacher brings him to an understanding that he is a great composer of a greater symphony than what he hoped, that is his students. He was very successful in encouraging them to find their lives, their strengths, and their way in living out their lives. At first, he didn’t realize this particular legacy, for he considers it as his responsibility only as a teacher and not as great work.

I also have a desire that I will leave something behind when I leave this community. I hope that after I leave this community, its members will remember me, not for my faults, my mistakes or my bad habit but for my testimony, my good example, and my life here. I hope my life here can be an inspiration and a good example for the others. I want to live my life here according to the Jesuits’ way of life, so that I can help this community live its life better by not only giving good example but also, if it’s needed, by reminding them of our appropriate way of life as Jesuits.

The movie, Mr. Holland's Opus, reminds me that leaving a legacy or becoming popular is not the main purpose of someone’s life. The purpose of my life is to follow The Great Hand, which led me according to His will. It’s just like Mr. Holland, who unwittingly does God’s will through his teaching, which encourages his students to be confident in their lives. I reflect that what I am to leave for Arrupe should be like Mr. Holland’s legacy. He might try every attempt to leave behind a symphony as his legacy, but at last he realizes that his greatest symphony is his students. Therefore, I will do my best to leave something by knowing and realizing what God really wants me to leave to this community.

For now, I think I have done quite well during the first semester, but I realized that I can do better in the next semester, whether it is in community, study, apostolic or spiritual life. I hope that from this goal, I can find something I can leave behind to this community, not merely as legacy but mostly as a remembrance of me. So, I am not thinking of leaving any legacy but a memory that this community will always remember me by good things I did and I will do here.

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