Saturday, November 11, 2006

Blessed are You, Poor…

A small reflection on Navotas Exposure


I stayed in Escarial Family, just next to Alex’s family. We are in the same big family name: Escarial, but my mother is Nora while his is Vilma. There are eleven of them in my family, Mr. Bokbok and Mam Nora, with seven children (Rhuel, Romel, Roli, Runa, Rosell, Anying, and Aron), a daughter-in-law, Bebe and one grandson, Romer. We live in Pitong Gatang, an area in the seaside. Our house is above the sea, with the dirty water full of garbage below us. It’s quite different from what I had imagined before, yet better. I have a special room for myself and there is a CR, even if it’s in the same room with kitchen. It’s good enough for me.


My Family live on gathering sea shells and on fishing. And they seem not to be bothered or disappointed when their source of living was washed away by the typhoon. This great attitude amazed me and made me reflect that they may have realized that God will provide for them their daily need. It is God who gives them seashells for their living, so it will be alright if He takes it. From this evidence I really feel that God is close to them. He is in their daily life. I can also find God’s presence through their kindness in welcoming me. They have no fear and no worry in accepting me to their house. Their courtesy is amazing, that they want to give the best to me, even if they almost cannot afford it. As soon as I arrived to the house, my mother asked me what my favorite foods are. Then, I was invited to go with her to the market to buy some fishes and meat for dishes. Then, almost everyday I was given some food that I like such as chicken, fish, pork, and so on. Their willingness to give even though they don’t have enough for them always amazes me. It shows me the presence of God in their daily life. Through the recollection we held on Monday, October, 30th, I also discover that most of the children are aware of God’s presence in their lives. They have simple yet deep reflections about it, and it flows through their attitude and faith. The longer I stayed with them, the deeper I fell that they aren’t poor. On the contrary, they are rich in kindness, in generosity, in faith, and in spirit. From their faith, I learn that they really believe in God’s providence for they seem not to be worried about tomorrow. One thing I noticed is that when I stayed with them, I never saw Mr. Bokbok went for gathering seshells, yet there is still something for us to eat. This is amazing. Where did those foods come from? This faith also made them not to be too worried when their source of living was washed away by the typhoon. What a great faith.


I had no special assignment for my family from the PPF. My own agenda was to experience their poverty and learn from their faith. My fear before this exposure is only that I cannot eat Filipino food and I might disappoint them. But, that didn’t come true. I could eat what they gave me. Even for me they cooked better than Arrupe cook do. Actually, I couldn’t really experience their poverty, for they always tried to give the best for me. I can’t say that they are poor because they have electricity, television, DVD player and sound system. They have a small shop (sari-sari store). But, I have a great experience of their richness, their abundant love and kindness.


At first, I felt not very comfortable with the house and the surroundings, but the kindness of the family members give me a good feeling. Soon I felt at home and comfortable. Everyone is kind and welcoming me. Although their English is limited, but they tried to speak to me in English as they can. Even two youngest children, Anying and Aron, kept asking me in Tagalog for they didn’t know that I can’t speak Tagalog. I used to play with them, and learn how to speak Tagalog a little from them. As my family is away, I also felt as they are my family and as I am still young, they also treat me as one of their children (their eldest children is 20). The problem of language is one of the problems that I had there. Yet I can still communicate with them, whether by simple English, simple Tagalog or gesture and it made the conversation more funny and interesting. As a result, I learned some new Tagalog words and forms of speech.


One girl in our neighborhood seemed to be interested in me. She told me that she liked me and asked me not to be a priest. I said thank you that I am still lovable, but I still wanted to be a priest. For me, so far nothing is bigger than my desire to be a priest. But, I am also aware of that kind of temptation and need of such affection in my mind. Therefore, I said thanks to her for loving me. But, it’s not because of her that I started this journey, so that it’ll not because of her that I will stop. It’s because of God that I started this way of vocation, so that for His reason only I will stop.


For me, this experience is the second one. When I was in Minor Seminary, I once stayed with a poor family in a village. This kind of experiences helps me to understand in a better way and closer observation the poverty around me, how they live it and how can I do a mission to them. Such poverty can be only felt by experiencing and being involved in it. This experience helps me build the sense of sympathy towards the poor, so that I know how to help them. Different kind of poor people have different struggles and problems. Those in Navotas, I think, are struggling against nature, for example typhoon, which is very significant to their lives; against the rich because they are aware that they are poor when the rich don’t want to share their richness. But, I learn also that they have love, faith and hope. They love others above all, they have faith that God will provide for them, and they have hope that in the future their life will be better. These love, faith and hope make me surer that I can help them, that I should have hope and faith also, just like them, and above all that I should also have love toward them just as they have loved me during my stay in Navotas.

The Importance of Knowing Who I am

(a small reflection on movie The Importance of Being Earnest)

For years I have been trying to discover who I am because it is very important to help me make important decisions in my life. By knowing my deeperself I can distinguish more clearly whether a desire comes from my psychological needs or my good will. To tell you who I am isn’t an easy task for me, not only because I am quite an introvert but also because I haven’t known my personality completely.

I know myself firstly from the people around me who keep telling me who I am. Some first impressions are that I am a quiet person, not talkative, shy and passive to begin any conversation, and not at all friendly. That’s true. The first time I meet a person, I will be like that. In fact, the impressions of my old friends tell more accurately my personality. For them, I am humorous, funny, friendly, faithful, smart, eager to help others, easy to forgive, patient but lazy, nervous and shy. What people tell me about what I am makes me recognize myself and reflect on it. If it is good, I will try to maintain it, but if it is not so good, I will make it better.

People around me help me to recognize myself better and to ameliorate my weak point. I am what people tell me because some of these suppositions are true and because they help me to reduce my bad character.

I was born with my unique appearance and character which make who and what I am. Therefore, I have my own characteristics, some of which I have known for some time. I am an ambivalent person, shy at first, but friendly later on: sometimes, prefer being lonely, while in other times want to be with my friends. I am a lazy person who prefers doing trivial things more than important one, but I am sometimes eager to work hard. I am a humorous person although sometimes I can be serious.

As I reflect on what I have encountered about my self, I find that I can show different characteristics according to the situation which I am in and my intention when aiming for goal. It’s not a deviation but an adjustment so that I can go with the situation. In different situations, I need to adjust my attitudes and behaviors in order to be able to have a dialogue with the particular situation. In mission, this adjustment is also needed for more effective ministry and satisfactory result. Different kinds of characters don’t mean that I have a split personality or I am full of pretence. As I reflect on it, it is an ability to adjust myself appropriately according to the situation and people I am with. But, I must acknowledge that I also have a tendency to wear mask in front of those who have legitimate positions, such as formators or my superior. This is one of my weaknesses. I realize it and try to make it up as well.