IHS

My own picture. I made it with Corel Draw 10 and Adobe Photoshop 6.o. Not perfect yet, but I'm gonna use it for my blog template. The inspiration comes from a monogram in the door of Building D chapel of Arrupe International Residence.

The Great Gatsby

When I read The Great Gatsby for the first time, I had a hard time to understand it. Therefore, I read only the first two chapters and stopped reading. I didn’t have any idea about what I had read at all. For me, it’s not interesting as well. And up to then, I wasn’t able to understand or appreciate it. But, then Fr. Bill explained the cultural background of The Great Gatsby, the symbols used by the writer, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and some initial chapters. I became more interested on it and on later reading, I was able to understand and appreciate it.

When I was getting interested in this novel, I really got the spirit to read and read this novel. Sometimes, I still find some difficulties in understanding what the writer wanted to say, but I also found that Fitzgerald is really a great writer. He used many symbols in The Great Gatsby, such as Daisy’s voice, which is described as an identification with money. He is able to express many ideas only in single short sentences. He knows how to use words effectively, yet efficiently.

The ending of the novel is not the same as I expected, for I was guessing that the novel would end happily. I’d prefer it ends like this: Daisy divorces Tom and marries Gatsby; Tom marries Myrtle; Nick marries Jordan, and they live happily ever after. But it doesn’t. Myrtle and Gatsby die, Jordan goes with another man, Tom and Daisy move out from Long Island and live their life which is artificially happy, and Nick continues his lonely life. Maybe Fitzgerald believes the American Dream or the pursuit of happiness never comes true, especially for those from the high economy class, even for him. Therefore, he makes it also never to come true for these people. What comes to them is a superficial and artificial happiness, and fun at the parties, a luxurious life and such.

The Great Gatsby reflects the culture in the United States at the time when the novel was written. Jay Gatsby represents the new rich group. He comes from the low economy class, but all of a sudden he becomes The Great Gatsby, rich and prosperous, proud and famous, and chasing Daisy, the only woman he wants. Daisy and Tom, Nick and Jordan Baker are also from the high economy class. They all together pursue the so-called American Dream, which never comes true for them. What eventually happens is that their lives are ruined by the American Dream itself. They live an empty and shallow life, so that nothing fulfills their happiness. Their prosperity, wealth and richness cannot buy happiness for them.

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Indifference, Simplicity and Perseverance

(a short reflection on movie Beijing Bicycle)

"Beijing Bicycle" depicts the lives of two young men, Guei and Jian who both come from the low economic class. Guei is a simple man coming from countryside, rube and is uneducated, while Jian is an educated one, a man of modern times and up to date. But, both are poor and consider a bicycle as a precious thing to have. Therefore, when the bicycle, which both of them consider as theirs, gets lost, they try every attempt to regain it.

Indeed, the bicycle is only a means to gain the main aim. It’s like all creation in the face of the earth which is created to support us to gain the aim we are created, that is, to glorify our Creator. For Guei, the bicycle is a means to earn money for his life. So, we can say it’s his life. Without it, he can’t earn money and can’t live. For Jian, the bicycle is a symbol of his status. He needs it in order to be accepted by his friends and to approach a girl in his school, Xiao. Both use it for different aim. It’s good that Jian realizes that the bike is merely a means. He eventually gives up the girl he fancies when she goes with another man. He gives the bike to Guei who is still clinging to the bike as the most precious thing he has. He forgets that the bike is only a means to earn money. There are many other ways and means to live and to earn money. In other words, Jian is more indifferent than Guei. In some ways, I like the characteristic of Jian for his indifference to let the bicycle go and not to cling on it any more. In other ways, I like also Guei for his simplicity in life.

As I reflect on this movie, I find that I have to be like Jian in the way that he is indifferent and aware that there are many ways, not only a bicycle, to gain his aim. Indifference is important in my life as a Jesuit because it makes me detached from everything, which are only means for pursuing the end. As result, I can focus on the main purpose, and not to be distracted by the means. Like Jian is indifferent, I must be able to distinguish what means are for and what the main purpose is.

From Guei, one thinks of emulating is his simplicity. Being simple keeps him in a way that he remains protected from the culture of the city. I think it’s important for me to be simple for Jesuits are supposed to available to be sent everywhere. Hence, I must be able to adjust myself to the culture of the place where I am sent. But, not all aspects of culture are good to adopt. Usually, there are some parts that must be avoided. To avoid it and not to be drowned by the stream of the culture, I must be simple. By this, I mean I must be able to keep my own culture and try not to be uprooted from my own culture. Another thing I learn from Guei is his perseverance. He is so confident that he is sure to find his lost bicycle. And he tries his best to find it. His persistence led him to find his bike. He is really a persevering person. Day and night, he looks for his lost bike. I reflected on this and learnt that he is so eager to find his bike because he loves it and treasures it. Therefore, to persevere in something I must love and treasure it beforehand.

Finding God in All Things and Spiritualism

Last night, I was listening to the radio. There was a girl telling a story about her and her boyfriend that they are in conflict. However, this girl said that God must have arranged all for her and her boyfriend. So, she would just let it go and happen as God’s will. It seems good to think of God in that kind of situation. But, is it really good to always identify everything with the will of God? Can God really be found in everything?

Finding God in all things is a good thing to do. There is, however, a danger to fall into spiritualism. So, what is the difference? When you try to identify everything you experienced with God or spiritual things, you fall into spiritualism. The Pharisees in Jesus era was one example of those who fall into it. They almost always criticized whatever Jesus and his disciples did and connected it with the Ten Commandments or The Torah. In this country, the Philippines, the chance for someone to fall into spiritualism much bigger because every day and every time, people here are nourished with spiritual things. They are so spiritual that almost all things are associated with the plan of God. The danger of it is that we may forget that we are given freedom to choose. God’s will is not always absolute. If we are so absorbed to the spiritualism, we will always think that everything is planned well by God and there is nothing to do with our will. In fact, God’s will and our freedom have 100% in the accomplishment of whatever we do and in whatever happens to us.

Now, what does it mean to find God in all things? It means to separate and distinguish human experiences with the divine one. In the divine experiences or experience of God, we will find God. That is Finding God in all things. We can’t say that all experiences we have are divine experiences. Therefore, to avoid falling into spiritualism, we should be able to distinguish human experiences and divine one.

Word Puzzle Generator

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Flood

Another flood engulfs Jakarta once more. This one is not the one of the yearly cycle but of the five-year cycle. Therefore, this year’s flood is much bigger than recent years’. It’s comparable to the on happened in 2002, five years ago. In the time of flood like this, all people are the same; they suffer the same hardship. At least, ten died and thousands of people are in the refugee, trapped in the flood, and not sure when they will be able to go to their homes. A question arises: Where is God in this situation? Is he watching the suffering of His creation? Or is He sleeping?

It’s really pathetic to see weak and poor people suffering. However, knowing that many people are helping each other and giving hand for the need of others gives me a distinctive happiness. Then, I found that there is God. God is in the hearts of people willing to help their unlucky fellows and neighbors, in their probity and magnanimity and in the love poured to those in suffering. There, God is present. He is the compassionate and helping God. He is NOT Sleeping. God is at hand.

Banjir

Banjir melanda Jakarta lagi. Kali ini bukan yang siklus satu tahunan tapi yang lima tahunan. Akibatnya, banjir kali ini lebih besar dari tahun-tahun sebelumnya, dapat dibandingkan dengan yang terjadi pada tahun 2002, lima tahun yang lalu. Saat banjir seperti ini, semua menjadi sama, sama-sama menderita. Paling tidak sudah ada 10 yang meninggal, sedangkan ribuan orang terjebak banjir, mengungsi dan belum yakin kapan dapat kembali ke rumah mereka yang masih terendam banjir. Pertanyaan yang lalu muncul adalah di manakah Tuhan. Apakah dia hanya melihat saja penderitaan makhluk-makhluk ciptaan-Nya ini? Tidurkah Dia?

Melihat penderitaan orang-orang kecil memang menyedihkan. Namun, mengetahui bahwa ada banyak orang yang saling membantu dan mengulurkan tangan mereka untuk memberi bantuan kepada sesame mereka meski hanya semampunya sungguh membahagiakan. Dan, lalu kutemukan bahwa di sinilah Tuhan, dalam diri orang-orang yang rela membantu sesama mereka, dalam ketulusan hati dan kebesaran jiwa setiap orang berkehendak baik yang tergerak hatinya melihat sesamanya menderita dan dalam cinta kasih yang tercurah bagi mereka yang menderita. Di situlah Tuhan hadir, Tuhan yang pehuh belas kasihan dan bersolidaritas. Dia TIDAK tidur. Tuhan dekat di antara kita.

Life-giving

(a short reflection on movie To Live)

The movie, To Live, depicts the life of a family in China in the 1940’s until 1960’s. At that time, the life there was very hard and this movie tries to present that kind of hardship. It shows how they struggle in order to live, how bitter it is for the parents, Fugui and Jiazhen, to witness their children’s deaths, and how happiness and sadness fill their life in turn. The movie ends when Fugui and Jiazhen, their son-in-law, Erxi, and their grandson eating together in happiness, after the father and the grandson have just finished put some young chicks into a box that used to be their puppet box.

In many cases, people die in order to give life to others, and some live because of the death of others. In this movie, it is very obvious that sometime, people have to die to give life to others. Many people died in a civil war, that Fugui and his friend, Chunseng are involved in. Those people died in order to give life to their people. Fugui and Chunseng are saved because other soldiers are killed. The death of Youqing, the son of the family, somehow also gives life to others. He always tries to defend his sister from some naughty kids. His death is considered ‘an offering’ (or sacrifice?) to Communism and Chairman Mao. Communal life suggested by the communism demands a lot of people’s lives. Fengxia, the daughter of the family, dies after she gives birth to her first son. And, in the middle of the movie, Chunseng gives him an amount of money since he knows that he is going to die.

For me, as a Christian, life-giving is not a new idea. Jesus himself is our model and example of person who gives his life for the life of all people. He gives his life so that human beings can live. He gave up his divinity and became human so that men can become divine. In my life as a Jesuit, life-giving is also not a new idea. Self-giving and life-giving, as an integral unity, can’t be separated from each other. What must we do to give ourselves and our lives? We must help and love others, and sometimes we must be ‘dead’ for others life. It means that to help others, we must be willing not to be popular or well known but merely o do for God’s sake. It’s supposed to make other people feel happy and helped. That’s one factor that keeps our life lively and meaningful. As a Jesuit, I find that by making people happy, by helping people, and by being ‘dead’ for others, I can endure my life as a Jesuit better. I can stand and enjoy my life, I am happy with it because I make others people happy. Giving life, being self giving and sharing have become my way of life and these support my life as a Jesuit.

The Glass Menagerie

Glass Menagerie, a play by Tennessee Williams. It is a beautiful and meaningful play. It depicts the life of Wingfield family in Missouri. Amanda Wingfield, a widowed mother, lives with her two children, Tom and Laura. I will not tell the story of the play. Instead, I’ll tell my interpretation and reflection.

Amanda is a single parent after being left by her husband. She has to take care of her two children. She wants happiness for her family, especially for her daughter, Laura. However, she realizes that she may not be able to give happiness to her family for her joblessness and age. Therefore, she always recalls her sweet past memories when she was still young and charming, and many gentlemen callers would come and visit her. Eventually, her expectation doesn’t come true for her daughter’s gentleman caller is actually engaged to another woman. Besides, Tom leaves the family to follow his father’s step. These all fade the mother’s hope.

Tom Wingfield, a warehouse worker, is the younger children of Wingfield family. He is quite a selfish man. He wants a happiness, but mostly only for himself. Only after his mother asked him to do a favor to his sister, does he take an effort to make his sister happy seriously. He invites his work mate in the ware house to come and meet Laura. However, after her mother blames him for the fact that this man is engaged to another woman, Tom leaves the family and follows his father’s step. His habit to go to the movies is also a proof of his selfish characteristic and attempt to escape from his bitter reality. His pursuing of happiness is only for himself.

Laura is a crippled and shy woman. She has her own world, with her glass miniatures and a gramophone. Her glass menagerie also symbolizes her fragility and vulnerability. Her being cripple and her shyness are the vulnerable parts of her. symbolized by the breaking of her glass menagerie, however, all these vulnerability are broken by the coming of Jim O’Connor, Tom’s friend in the ware house and the person whom she admire in her high school for his voice. She is happy being loved and cared by Jim. She becomes normal like an ordinary woman which is symbolized by the breaking of the horn of her unicorn glass statue making it same as other horse statues. But, eventually, she becomes even more vulnerable after knowing that Jim is engaged.

As I reflect on the play, I find these three main figures symbolize human beings. Everyone has desire to be happy, just like Amanda does. Usually, however, not being abele to achieve it, people tend to look behind their past, recalling the past sweet memories and live in it. Tom represents human lust and selfishness. He wants happiness too, but mostly only for himself. We can’t deny that in everyone, there is an egoism leading to the pursuing of selfish happiness. While Laura’s characteristic symbolize defects, lacking of self confidence and imperfections everyone has. To be a happy person, one needs not only a desire or willing, but one has to also overcome one’s selfishness and defects.